More tranny stories later!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
