We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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