Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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