dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
