Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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