i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
