Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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