My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
