his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize