You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
