would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
