At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
