If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
