i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
