Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
