I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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