next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
