I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
