Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
