physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
