....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
