...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
