then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
