Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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