im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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