her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
