from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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