yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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