i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i think i just lost a toe
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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