What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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