...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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