I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
How many fucks given?
0.12846
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
