The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
