I think I died a long time ago.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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