Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
accomplished twins. life is a go
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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