I like to think it a success when the cops are called
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
