is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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