my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
