I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
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