It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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