next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
