you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
