Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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