WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
