I want to have your abortion
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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