I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize