So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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