I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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