I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Randomize
