if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
