So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
we should paint friendship bongs
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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