Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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