I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
