I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
