I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
