I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Acid is not a monday night drug
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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